Admitting Defeat
by Nakimochiku
Summary: the rest of them thought he was dead. but Roy knew the truth, they just didn't believe him. oneshot, insanity, onesided Roy x Ed


ADMITTING DEFEAT

_heh heh, was watching the FMA movie. I got into an FMA mood, heh heh heh._

They had a funeral for him. But he didn't go. Going to a funeral and mourning was just like admitting that he was dead. And he wouldn't mourn. He'd wait. He'd wait as long as he had to because he knew he was right.

They called him a hero, they gave him badges, they hung the badges from the front office. Some stopped to look at the badges, saluted the badges, to show that he was a hero. But he didn't look at them. He was a hero yes. But he didn't look at them. It was like admitting he as dead.

It was admitting defeat. To him, Edward was not dead. He refused to believe that Edward was dead. His sanity road on those thoughts. Without his beliefs, he was sure he'd go crazy. Others assumed that he already was, that he'd lost it. But he knew the truth, the same way he knew Edward would come back.

Because Edward had promised.

They told him to let it go, wherever Edward was, he wasn't coming back, he didn't want to come back, that he was probably a deserter. Anyone who had tried to claim the last bit were either punched repeatedly or severely burned.

He took up his post as north as he could go, because North was nearly the end of the world. And the end of the world is where Edward must be. But he found no one, instead, that echoing loneliness that surrounded him in that harsh but beautiful place. He wished he could show it to the midget.

He felt just a little numb, dead, and disheartened. But he wouldn't ever give up, because that more than anything like admitting defeat.

And Edward would need at least one person who still believed him, if he came back. No, not if, when. Because it would happen, he had to believe that it would.

Slowly, his former underlings stopped visiting. But that was ok. He only wanted to see one person walk through that door, only wanted to hear one voice. How badly he wanted to run his fingers through that blonde hair. Not just blonde, gold. The most beautiful type of gold. How badly he wanted to see that smile that tried to hide. Edward had always thought his smiles hid everything.

Instead, they made it all the more obvious. To him at least. He knew he was the only one paying attention. For all the love the others claimed to give, where were they now? Admitting defeat.

When Edward came back, he wouldn't have to hide around him. They could be together, and understand each other.

Back at central, they whispered that he was insane, that he had taken Edward's disappearance too hard. But what did he care? All he wanted was his special little midget.

He was not insane. Calling himself insane was like saying that everything he thought was not real. And that was like admitting defeat. And he knew he was right! Edward was coming back. Edward would be there for him to hold.

They just didn't understand, probably never would.

"Edward..." he whispered, almost inaudibly. He was not falling apart, he was not insane. He was simply sticking by his opinion. And for those who knew him (or pretended they did) they would know that he stuck to his opinions quite hard.

There was a grave for him. But he didn't go to visit. Saying that Edward was dead was like admitting defeat. Visiting that grave was like saying that Edward was gone forever.

His name had been put on the memorial stone. He didn't look at it. Edward was alive, but no one believed him. He was right. And when Edward came back, they would see. And he and Edward could be together.

He was not obsessive!

His pocket watch had been hung with the badges, opened so everyone could see one of Edward's secrets. _Remember._ He remembered it for Edward, just in case. Sometimes, the midget might need someone to talk to. And since the rest of them were useless, he knew he would be that person.

All he wanted was more of Edward's smile, his body in his arms.

He was right, they were wrong. He would never admit defeat. He had hope. He was not insane.

OWARI

_nearly cried for Roy. Cry cry, he's obsessed with edward's return! Didn't you notice he was all dead at that cottage place thing? And how Havoc hinted he was waiting for edward? Yes... I found something in that. Please review!_


End file.
